Princess Morgan inplicated in Barry Bonds Steroid Scandal!!

Don't let that smile fool you. We have reason to suspect Barry Bonds has been secretly providing performance-enhancing substances to our lil' peanut.

Why do I level such grievous charges against my beloved daughter, you say?

This child can flip from belly to back all by herself!! At 2.5 weeks old!!! (We have video documentation to confirm this magnificent milestone) She continues to awe and amaze us with every gesture, expression, and sound; we could not be more proud to be her parents.